Category Archives: Writing Skills

Understanding Interrupters

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Here’s a sentence from a literary newsletter article about environmentalist Rachel Carson. Can you figure out what’s wrong with it?

Though too poor to have indoor plumbing, her mother subscribed to the children’s magazine, St. Nicholas, whose mission included the “protection of the oppressed, whether human or dumb creatures.”  INCORRECT

The problem is the comma after “children’s magazine.” That comma doesn’t belong there. Here’s the sentence again, with the correction:

Though too poor to have indoor plumbing, her mother subscribed to the children’s magazine St. Nicholas, whose mission included the “protection of the oppressed, whether human or dumb creatures.” CORRECT

Technically we’re talking about “interrupters” – words that cause a sentence to stop and then start again. Countless teachers (including me) have wrung their hands trying to explain to students how to do these commas correctly. Conventional rules and explanations usually complicate things and just confuse students more.

Luckily there’s a simple way to punctuate an interrupter correctly: Just read the sentence aloud, listen for a voice drop, and insert commas.

When you try that with today’s sentence, you’ll notice that your voice doesn’t change when you read “the children’s magazine St. Nicholas.” So – no comma!

Your voice will change, however, when you start reading “whose mission included…” Aha! Comma needed.

Here’s the sentence again, correctly punctuated. PLEASE read it aloud. You’ll hear your voice change. Automatically. In the right place.

Though too poor to have indoor plumbing, her mother subscribed to the children’s magazine St. Nicholas, whose mission included the “protection of the oppressed, whether human or dumb creatures.” CORRECT

To learn more, click here and read about Comma Rule 3. You can also watch a short video about Comma Rule 3 by clicking here.

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Snuck and Drug

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Yesterday I heard a motivational speaker give an excellent talk about ways to achieve our potential. She was a polished professional – but she said drug instead of dragged.

I drug the boxes into the closet.  NONSTANDARD

I dragged the boxes into the closet. STANDARD

I may have been the only person in the room who knew that the past tense of drag is dragged. And that raises a provocative question: Does it really matter whether you say drug or dragged? Snuck or sneaked, which most writers consider more correct?

It’s the nature of language to change, and within 20 or 50 or 100 years both drug and snuck may be accepted in formal writing.

My personal choice is not to use either one. Like it or not, your word choices reveal a lot about you. I’m always impressed by people who get the subtle points of usage right – tricky pronoun cases, complicated subject-verb agreement, possessives with gerundives.

I’ll keep saying dragged and sneaked, and I recommend that you do the same.

 

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Do You Hear What I Hear?

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English teachers often talk about “interrupters” and the difference between “restrictive and non-restrictive clauses.” Because I like simplicity, I prefer to call these Comma Rule 3 sentences…and a number of people have told me they like the simplicity of dealing with only three comma rules for most sentences. (Click here to watch a short video about Comma Rule 3.)

Let’s try a quiz! Can you tell which sentences require commas? (Hint: Read them aloud and listen for voice changes. Voice drops indicate that you need commas.) Scroll down for the answers.

1. Women who wear a red carnation on Mother’s Day are honoring a mother still living.

2.  I will send a message to Jack Hokkinen who’s in charge of the meeting about your suggestion.

3.  Fifteen hours which is what I usually spend on the financial report wasn’t enough this month.

4.  Central Florida home of Walt Disney World is a great place for a winter vacation.

5.  We need to remind everyone who works in Human Resources about the new procedure.

Here are the answers:

1. Women who wear a red carnation on Mother’s Day are honoring a mother still living. (No commas: You’re referring only to women who wear red carnations)

2.  I will send a message to Jack Hokkinen, who’s in charge of the meeting, about your suggestion. (Use commas: “who’s in charge of the meeting” is extra information)

3.  Fifteen hours, which is what I usually spend on the financial report, wasn’t enough this month. (Use commas: “which is what I usually spend on the financial report” is extra information)

4.  Central Florida, home of Walt Disney World, is a great place for a winter vacation. (Use commas: “home of Walt Disney World” is extra information)

5.  We need to remind everyone who works in Human Resources about the new procedure. (No commas: You’re referring only to people who work in Human Resources)

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Can You Fix This Sentence?

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I’ve found that even professional writers sometimes don’t know how to do parallelism. Here’s a problematic sentence from today’s local newspaper, The Ledger:

Patten said Publix accepts coupons from manufacturers, competitors, and some online coupons. NOT PARALLEL

The best way to learn parallelism is to make the sentence look like a little poem. (It’s also useful to remember that the third part of the sentence is usually the source of the problem–in this example, “some online coupons.”)

Let’s try it with this sentence:

Patten said Publix accepts coupons from

  • manufacturers
  • competitors and
  • some online coupons.

Saying “coupons from some online coupons” doesn’t make sense. So let’s rewrite the sentence:

Patten said Publix accepts coupons from

  • manufacturers
  • competitors and
  • some websites.

Now it’s correct! Here it is again, formatted as a regular sentence:

Patten said Publix accepts coupons from manufacturers, competitors, and some websites. CORRECT

To read more about parallelism, click here.

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Shorter is Better

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Here’s a caption that appeared under a photo in today’s local newspaper:

Naomi Poe, founder of Better Batter Gluten Free Flour in Altoona, Pa., learned that it is important to try to understand how your customers value your product, and to raise prices, she had to convince customers her products offered added value.

I just checked the New York Times, the original source of the story and photo. Their caption was shorter and more readable. Apparently the journalist who writes headlines for our paper forgot a useful writing rule: One idea per sentence.

Let’s take another look at that mouthful of a sentence – or, more precisely, at part of it:

Naomi Poe, founder of Better Batter Gluten Free Flour in Altoona, Pa., learned that it is important to try to understand how your customers value your product, and to raise prices,

That phrase “and to raise prices” doesn’t make sense until you read further – “she had to convince customers her products offered added value.” But by then most readers will be as lost as I was.

Solution? It’s simple. Break the sentence in two:

Naomi Poe, founder of Better Batter Gluten Free Flour in Altoona, Pa., learned that it is important to try to understand how your customers value your product. And to raise prices, she had to convince customers her products offered added value.  BETTER

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Although it drives me crazy

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Many writers have difficulty punctuating sentences with although in them. I just came across the following badly punctuated sentence in an online political article:

One counter-protester, Leslie Taylor of Madison admitted, “I’m dying of curiosity to see what kind of people support Sarah Palin. Although, I’m seeing more protesters than supporters.”

Sigh. Anything beginning with “although” is an extra idea and needs to be glued on to a real sentence.

And there’s another problem: although should never be followed by a comma. (Also – not that I’m trying to be picky – there should be a comma after Madison.)

Here’s the corrected sentence:

One counter-protester, Leslie Taylor of Madison, admitted, “I’m dying of curiosity to see what kind of people support Sarah Palin although I’m seeing more protesters than supporters.” CORRECT

(To learn more about these commas, click here. Comma Rule 1 deals with although and similar words; Comma Rule 3 explains why you need a comma after Madison.)

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Respective?

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I’m in Savannah on vacation, and I wasn’t planning to do any blogging this week – but I couldn’t resist commenting on a sentence from USA Today (April 13, 1B, “Email addresses can be weapons”).

The article is about the Epsilon data theft that compromised email addresses belonging to customers from Chase Bank, Verizon, Hilton, and Target. Here’s the sentence:

“Those companies, in turn, have been sending e-mail warnings to their respective customers.”

Why is that word “respective” there? Does anybody really think that Verizon, say, would be writing to Target’s customers? Doesn’t Verizon have problems enough of its own?

“Respective” is almost always unnecessary – and it’s a pompous, old-fashioned word. Avoid it like the plague.

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Blond or Blonde?

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No, this isn’t going to be about the Bob Dylan recording (fans out there know that Blonde on Blonde is widely considered one of the greatest albums of all time).

But let’s talk about the title for a moment. If you look it up on Wikipedia, it’s spelled Blond on Blonde (unless someone has corrected it by now). So what about that final e? Does it mean anything? Does it make a difference?

Blond or blonde?

Go to www.Dictionary.com, and you’ll discover that the adjective is correctly spelled without the e: Although my hair was blond when I was little, it’s light brown now.

But if you’re referring to a woman with blond hair, you’re supposed to add the e:

Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? A: So brunettes can remember them.

(I couldn’t resist. Incidentally, I’m a blonde.)

The blonde/blond distinction is a subtle one, and Dictionary.com notes that even some good writers ignore it.

Here’s a thought, however: Once in a while you’re going to encounter a language fanatic (like me) who knows the difference and looks for that final e. Why not take the opportunity to impress me?

 

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Why We Need Commas

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I’m on a Lawrence Block reading kick – I love his mystery novels about Matthew Scudder, a New York detective who spends much of his free time at AA meetings.

The books are well written and fun to read, but once in a while Block and his copyeditor miss a comma or two. I want to spend a few minutes looking at problem sentence from the mystery I’m reading right now, The Devil Knows You’re Dead.

(Background:  Lisa Holtzmann, the widow of a man who was just murdered, is reminiscing about their relationship.)

Read along with me, and try to watch your brain at work. (I know that sounds crazy – but try it!)

When we met Glenn

You’re picturing a couple of people meeting Glenn, right? Wrong! Read on:

When we met Glenn had a studio apartment in Yorkville

Oops! She’s saying something different: When she and Glenn met, he had an apartment in Yorkville.

Let’s keep reading:

When we met Glenn had a studio apartment in Yorkville and

So Glenn had a studio apartment and something else, right?

Oops! Wrong again. Read on:

When we met Glenn had a studio apartment in Yorkville and of course I was still on Madison Street.

Two commas, correctly placed, would clear up all the confusion, and you’d know immediately what Lisa was trying to say.

Here’s the sentence one more time, correctly punctuated. Notice how much easier it is to read:

When we met, Glenn had a studio apartment in Yorkville, and of course I was still on Madison Street. CORRECT

To learn more about Comma Rule 1 (the first comma) and Comma Rule 2 (the second comma), click here. You can also watch a short video by clicking here.

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Subject-Verb Agreement Isn’t Always Easy

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The editor in my brain is always on duty. So I paid attention when a red light flashed in my head after I’d read this claim in a private school ad in the New York Times Magazine:

A boarding arts high school, where the best in academic and arts education go hand-in-hand.

Did you spot the mistake? I don’t mean the sentence fragment – that’s OK in an ad, especially if it’s acting as a headline or attention-getter.

The problem is subject-verb agreement. (Click here and read Rule 4). The subject is “best,” so the verb should be “goes”:

A boarding arts high school, where the best in academic and arts education goes hand-in-hand.  CORRECT

But that “hand-in-hand” creates a new problem. First, the sentence sounds wrong. You’re expecting go, not goes (unless you’re an English teacher.) More seriously, the new sentence doesn’t make sense. How can one thing (best) go hand-in-hand? It’s nonsensical.

Sentences like these are the reason my husband sometimes catches me staring blankly at the computer screen. I know what I want to say, but this @#$%&! English language won’t let me say it.

I have no idea how you could fix that sentence about the boarding arts high school. Does that mean that my Ph.D. in English is going to be revoked?

What you’d have to do is figure out how to make “best” plural: best experiences, best instructors, best resources…something like that.

Gee whiz, though…if you’re running an expensive private school, please get the grammar right. Or do what I always do: Throw out the sentence and start over.

 

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