I’m on a Lawrence Block reading kick – I love his mystery novels about Matthew Scudder, a New York detective who spends much of his free time at AA meetings.
The books are well written and fun to read, but once in a while Block and his copyeditor miss a comma or two. I want to spend a few minutes looking at problem sentence from the mystery I’m reading right now, The Devil Knows You’re Dead.
(Background: Lisa Holtzmann, the widow of a man who was just murdered, is reminiscing about their relationship.)
Read along with me, and try to watch your brain at work. (I know that sounds crazy – but try it!)
When we met Glenn
You’re picturing a couple of people meeting Glenn, right? Wrong! Read on:
When we met Glenn had a studio apartment in Yorkville
Oops! She’s saying something different: When she and Glenn met, he had an apartment in Yorkville.
Let’s keep reading:
When we met Glenn had a studio apartment in Yorkville and
So Glenn had a studio apartment and something else, right?
Oops! Wrong again. Read on:
When we met Glenn had a studio apartment in Yorkville and of course I was still on Madison Street.
Two commas, correctly placed, would clear up all the confusion, and you’d know immediately what Lisa was trying to say.
Here’s the sentence one more time, correctly punctuated. Notice how much easier it is to read:
When we met, Glenn had a studio apartment in Yorkville, and of course I was still on Madison Street. CORRECT