Tag Archives: who or whom

Who or Whom?

Few writers feel confident using whom. As a result, some writers have dropped whom and use who exclusively. Other writers overuse whom, figuring they’ll be right at least part of the time.

If you’re not sure, the first mistake is the way you want to go. Whom is rapidly disappearing, so it isn’t required for conversation and most writing tasks. I reserve whom for two situations: writing for publication and teaching a class.

English teachers (remember, I’m one of them) have to bear a lot of the blame for the gradual disappearance of whom. Ask an English teacher for an explanation of who and whom, and you’ll hear a lot of jargon about transitive verbs and objects of prepositions. Not surprisingly, many people simply give up.

Since you’re reading this post, you’re a special person who would like to crack the mystery of who and whom. Let me show you a trick.

Memorize this phrase: He for who and him for whom. (You can sing it if you know the song “Tea for Two”!)

Any time you’re wondering whether whom is correct, plug in the word him and see if it works. (Both words end in the mmm sound – another aid.)

Give the package to anyone who/whom answers the door.

Would you say him answers the door or he answers the door? He answers it! Use who. (You’re singing, right? He for who and him for whom.)

Give the package to anyone who answers the door.

The same trick works for whoever (use he) and whomever (use him). (That mmm sound is still there in whomever and him to help you.) Incidentally, mistakes with whomever are common even with highly educated people.

Let’s try one:

The invitation is good for whoever/whomever wants to attend.

Which works better: him wants to attend or he wants to attend? He wants to attend! Use whoever:

The invitation is good for whoever wants to attend.

Let’s do one more, ok?

This shirt will look good on whoever/whomever it fits.

It fits him or it fits he? It fits him! Use whomever:

This shirt will look good on whomever it fits.

If you stayed with me for all these examples, congratulations! You’ve learned a usage skill that eludes even some professional writers.

Whooom?

                               Whooom?

 

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Is It Who or Whom – And How Do You Know?

Here’s a tidbit from “After Deadlines,” an ongoing commentary about writing issues in the New York Times:

Still, in what might be a combination of generosity and caginess, Mr. Guettel helped supply Prospect with a music supervisor, Robert Meffe, whom Ms. Lucas said “has sort of been the ear of Adam” at “Myths and Hymns” rehearsals.

Whom has? No. Make it “who,” subject of the verb in the relative clause.

* * * * * * 

I’m grinding my teeth. Despite having a Ph.D. in English and the authorship of two English textbooks under my belt, I have to stop and think about what “subject of the verb in the relative clause” means. Surely I can’t be the only who struggles with explanations like this one!

Here’s how I do who and whom: I substitute “he” for “who” and “him” for “whom.” (Yeah, it sounds a little like “Tea for Two.”)

So let’s try it again:

Him, Ms. Lucas said, “has sort of been the ear of Adam”…

He, Ms. Lucas, said “has sort of been the ear of Adam”…

“He” works better, so “who” is the correct choice. (Commas around “Ms. Lucas said” would help, wouldn’t they? You drop your voice there.)

Still, in what might be a combination of generosity and caginess, Mr. Guettel helped supply Prospect with a music supervisor, Robert Meffe, who Ms. Lucas said “has sort of been the ear of Adam” at “Myths and Hymns” rehearsals.  CORRECT

One more point: This sentence is much more complicated than it needs to be. Simplify it, and you accomplish two wonderful things: The who or whom problem disappears, and the information is easier to read. Here’s how I would fix it:

Still, in what might be a combination of generosity and caginess, Mr. Guettel helped supply Prospect with a music supervisor, Robert Meffe. Ms. Lucas said that Meffe “has sort of been the ear of Adam” at “Myths and Hymns” rehearsals.  BETTER

And I can’t resist making one more point: When in doubt, use who. Whom is gradually disappearing (hooray!).

whom

                                      Whooom?

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