React!

I just finished reading The Ear of the Heart, a fascinating biography of former Hollywood and Broadway actress Dolores Hart. In 1963, at the height of her career, she stunned the entertainment world by entering Regina Laudis, a contemplative Benedictine monastery in Connecticut. A college friend of mine who joined an active religious order in Connecticut once saw Hart working in an apple orchard with a group of other novice nuns.

Because much of the book is written in Hart’s own words, you can watch the seeds of her religious vocation grow. One comment about her acting career is particularly telling. Hart says that she made marvelous friends during the long days and weeks of filming, so that the cast and crew became a family – but the family always fell apart when the filming ended and everyone returned home.

So it was not surprising that she longed for a stable and permanent family (her parents’ relationship was full of turmoil). She began making retreats at Regina Laudis, made friends with some of the nuns, and fell in love with the monastery.

But she soon discovered that that monastic life was very different from those mystical retreats. Her superiors – wary of a Hollywood star accustomed to luxury and fame – were harsh. Living conditions were arduous. She remembers that she was so cold after evening prayers on winter nights that she used to sit on the hallway radiator before going to bed in her unheated cell.

Most seriously, friendships between the nuns were prohibited. Although there was an hour of recreation every day, nuns were permitted only one topic of conversation: their daily work on the monastery farm and buildings.

Hart’s voice is honest and real, but I often felt that something was missing in her book: Her reactions. Did she think about leaving? And what forces drove her to stay?

She makes only one statement about that long and difficult transition: For the first three years she cried herself to sleep every night. (Later on, changes prompted by Vatican II brought a vast improvement in monastic life, and Dolores – “Mother Dolores” by then – became a leader in her community.)

If I’d had a chance to edit Hart’s book, I would have asked her to describe her reactions to those experiences. What was she thinking and feeling when she shivered after evening prayers – listened to unending conversations about weeding, mopping, and hoeing – endured yet another rebuke from a superior?

But wait a minute. A writing rule (one of my favorites) states that you shouldn’t do your readers’ thinking for them. Couldn’t readers figure out for themselves that Hart was upset by those experiences?

The answer is no.

“Upset” is a catch-all word that says very little. When you start digging into what “upset” means, you come up with a long list of reactions Hart could have had: anger (at herself or the monastery), betrayal (because no one warned her what it was going to be like), stubbornness, guilt (because she was having so many unspiritual feelings), regret, sadness, disappointment, loneliness…and probably some I haven’t thought about.

And when you start thinking about the forces that compelled her to stay…well, there’s probably another whole book to be written.

What ultimately makes writing worth reading is the inner life of the writer. That’s true whether you’re writing fiction, nonfiction, or poetry. Every word you write is shaped by your personality and experience…even if you’re trying to write impersonally.

After a close friend read my book Pygmalion’s Wordplay (a scholarly treatment of the writings of Bernard Shaw that rarely includes the words I and me), she told me that she understood me for the first time. Egad.

Whenever you sit down to write, no matter what the task is – please, please react. We’re interested in you, your thoughts and feelings, and the connections you draw to other experiences, ideas, and memories. Don’t hold back!

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2 thoughts on “React!

  1. pinklightsabre

    Great insight Jean. The reaction is the conflict, what we can relate to — and sadly, it’s true, we want conflict. Raise the stakes, right? Enjoying getting to know you through your lovely blog. I read some Shaw in college but didn’t ‘get it.’ My wife did her MFA in theater and while we were on a 90 day sabbatical in the UK this past winter (embedded inside a longer, nine month sabbatical in Europe), she got to see some Shaw and took our oldest daughter (11). Not sure she got it either, but good on her for going and wanting to be there, right? I should go back to him, but there’s a long list and a limited number of tables. Cheers, Bill

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