Category Archives: Writing Skills

Indefinite Pronoun Reference

Here’s an obscure topic for you! Translated into everyday English, “indefinite pronoun reference” means a confusing pronoun (he, him, she, her, it, they, them, this, that, and similar words). Here’s an example:

Carl took his son to Home Depot to pick out a paint color for his room. INDEFINITE PRONOUN REFERENCE

Whose room, Carl’s or his son’s? Because there are two males, that “his” is unclear, or indefinite. Here’s a more clear sentence:

Carl took his son John to Home Depot to pick out a paint color for John’s room.  BETTER

Professional writers are always on the lookout for vague pronoun use. It’s a habit that makes good writers stand out from the rest of the pack.

And I just did it incorrectly. Did you notice? If not, here’s a chance to make your writing a little sharper – and to make your own writing stand out.

The problem word is “it.” (I’ve often said that it’s the seemingly easy everyday words in our language that create the biggest problems for writers.)

I wrote “It’s a habit….” What exactly is the habit? Being on the lookout for vague pronoun use. But those exact words didn’t appear in the previous sentence.

Here’s a revision that eliminates the vague reference:

Professional writers are always on the lookout for vague pronoun use. The habit of using pronouns in a precise way makes good writers stand out from the rest of the pack. BETTER

That sentence might have struck you as a little too formal for everyday writing. I agree. In conversation and emails I don’t concern myself with indefinite pronoun references. If you’re writing something for work or for publication, though, it pays to check your pronouns and revise sentences when necessary. Your writing will be sharper, and that’s a good thing.

(Not really. Did you notice the indefinite pronoun reference? That is unclear. Here’s the revised sentence: Your writing will acquire greater precision, and that’s a good thing.)

UNCLEAR ok

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Confusing Pronouns

I’ve often said that the words most likely to get a writer in trouble are the simplest ones: it’s/its, their/there/they’re…you get the idea.

High on that list would be these four words: he, him, she, her.

Perhaps you’re surprised. Those are simple words that everyone uses all the time. What’s the problem?

Actually there are two problems. First, people tend to mix them up, using “him” when they should say “he” and vice versa. My students (sigh!) are fond of saying “John and her went to the library.” Teachers patiently explain that “she” is correct, which leads to more confusion when students start using “she” all the time: “The librarian helped John and she find some useful information.”

Here’s how to do those sentences:

She went to the library.

John and she went to the library.

The librarian helped her find some useful information.

The librarian helped John and her find some useful information.

(Click on the Pronouns Made Simple link on this website and scroll down to read about “The Thumb Rule” if you want more help with these pronouns.)

But there’s another problem, almost as common, with words like he, him, she, her: Confusion when there are two males or two females in a sentence.

Here’s an example from the New York Times Magazine, usually a paragon of good writing:

(Background: Children were reared in an absolutely-no-junk-food home. Daughter Jess used a trip to an emergency room to bargain for a forbidden meal.)

At the hospital, the deal was struck. Jess wouldn’t freak out as the doctor threaded the dozen stitches, and in return, my mother would grant one fast-food burger of her choosing.

Who did the choosing, Mom or Jess? That “her” could refer to either.

Three pieces of advice:

1.  Be careful with words like hehimsheher.

2.  Learn the Thumb Rule. (It’s easy!)

3.  Always, always ask a friend or family member to read over what you’ve written. If you were writing that story about Jess and her Whopper, of course you’d know that it was your sister who made the choice. She’s your sister, and you know the story well! Your eyes pass over that “her” so quickly that you might not realize it will confuse a reader who doesn’t know you and your family.

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Refudiate

Thanks to Sarah Palin, a new word has entered the language: “Refudiate.” It showed up in a tweet that Palin sent out on Sunday: “Ground Zero Mosque supporters: doesn’t it stab you in the heart, as it does ours throughout the heartland? Peaceful Muslims, pls refudiate.”

When people started talking about “refudiate,” Palin deleted her tweet and published a new message without the made-up word: “Peaceful New Yorkers, pls refute the Ground Zero mosque plan if you believe catastrophic pain caused @ Twin Towers site is too raw, too real.”

The plan in question is for a mosque to be built a few blocks from the site of the 9-11 attacks on the Twin Towers in New York City. Palin’s new word “refudiate” (or misspelling of “repudiate,” depending on your point of view) has stirred up almost as much controversy as the Mosque proposal. Is a politician like Palin allowed to coin new words, or is that privilege reserved for the great writers like Shakespeare, who is supposed to have invented thousands of them?

I say…it’s the wrong question. English (despite the earnest wishes of many English teachers) has no authority system. No one is empowered to make decisions about usage, word coinages, and the like. Or, more accurately, we all – everyone who uses the  English language – make those decisions.

If “refudiate” catches on, Sarah Palin will one day have a little space carved out for her in the Oxford English Dictionary, which tracks the history of words. It’s not the Vice Presidency, but it would be quite an achievement.

What I’d like to focus on for a minute, though, is some postmodern principles that Palin’s Twitter episode exemplifies for the rest of us. Here they are. (Those of you who think postmodern language theory has no relevance to the real world – please take note!)

1.  Language is a human invention and, as such, is subject to human frailty and error.

2.  Language escapes the control of the person using it. Palin thought she was making a point about a mosque and 9/11. Instead she triggered a language debate.

3.  The audience helps determine its meaning. This is a corollary to #2. There’s no guarantee that your audience is going to interpret your message the way you intended.

4.  Language always implies risk.

What does all this mean?

  • If you want to be a Supreme Court Justice someday, you’d better be very careful about the paper trail you’re creating.
  • If you get up in front of a video recorder and talk about race, be aware that future audiences might get a totally distorted report about what you said.

Is language relevant? I think Elena Kagan, Shirley Sherrod, and – yes – Sarah Palin would give that question an unequivocal “yes.”

And so would you if you ever – like me – ordered a pizza with peppers and were served a pepperoni pizza instead. Welcome to the slippery but wonderful world of language.

Sarah Palin

                             Sarah Palin

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Most Unique?

Yesterday afternoon my husband regretfully dispatched to the Dumpster a favorite succulent that had lost its long and courageous battle against mealybugs. To fill the empty space in the plant stand in our porch, we spent some time shopping online for a replacement. One nursery proclaimed that it’s “proud to offer the most unique collection of succulents and low-water plant material for the discerning gardener.”

This discerning gardener immediately noticed that annoying “most unique.” The nursery should have described its collection as “most unusual.”

What’s the difference, and why bother?

“Unique” means one-of-a-kind. It doesn’t mean unusual. If you make the two words interchangeable, you lose a useful word from the English language. You can’t qualify unique: Things aren’t “very unique” or “most unique.” It’s like pregnant: You either are or you aren’t.

My fingerprints (like yours) are unique. No one else has fingerprints exactly like mine. But my fingerprints aren’t unusual – in fact they’re pretty ho-hum, as fingerprints go.

Those of you who live in Northern climes can go outdoors in the winter and catch snowflakes. Each will be unique, but none will be unusual (unless your region experiences an indescribably weird meteorological event).

Good writers are precise, and that quest for precision works two ways. Of course you have to select the right words for each job. But it’s also true that the words themselves have to do their job. If the meanings get sloppy (“unique” and “unusual” become synonyms), we lose a speck of our ability to be precise. Over time those specks add up.

Want some more examples? I once knew a clergyman who used “penultimate” to mean “most extreme.” It sounded great rolling off his tongue. But “penultimate” actually means “second from the last.” It’s a useful word when you’re explaining the rules of Spanish pronunciation, for example (“Put the stress on the penultimate syllable”).

Here’s another one: Some people use “infinitesimal” as a synonym for “infinite.” Again, it sounds great. But “infinitesimal” actually means “tiny.” Or “eensy-weensy.” Or “itsy-bitsy.”

OK, I’ll stop.

Incidentally, we found an unusual (but not unique) succulent yesterday to fill that infinitesimal space on the penultimate shelf on our planter.

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Less or Fewer?

I usually shop at Publix, a grocery chain located here in the Southeast. Their customer service is outstanding – why go anywhere else?

But I also appreciate their commitment to good writing. For a long time their stores featured a sign that proclaimed, “We will never, knowingly, disappoint you.” Good sentence: I approve.

But at some point (and I think this was a good decision) the commas around “knowingly” disappeared. Now the sentence flows without interruption: “We will never knowingly disappoint you.”

Where I really see the commitment to good English is at the express line, which proclaims that it’s for customers with “10 or fewer items.” A lesser grocery chain (ha!) would have said “less than 10 items.”

How do you know which is correct – less or fewer?

Here’s the rule: Use “fewer” for things you can count; use “less” for things you can’t count. So it would be less coffee but fewer cups of coffee. You can’t count coffee, but you can count cups.

“Less” and “fewer” cause a great deal of confusion, and I congratulate Publix for getting “fewer” right. So many people don’t. And here, perversely, is what I’ve been hearing more and more often lately: “Fewer than one.” Nope. “Less than one.” So you would say, “There’s less than one day to shop for my brother’s wedding.”

But now it’s time for me to go to Publix to salute that sign over the express line.

Publix Wikipedia ok

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Please RSVP

 I enjoy reading “Miss Manners,” an etiquette column in our local newspaper. (Her real name is Judith Martin.) Although I don’t always agree with her advice, her column is provocative and entertaining.

But this week Miss Manners wandered away from table manners to make a pronouncement about English. She holds a degree in English from Wellesley College, so she’s entitled to do that. But I found her reasoning faulty.

A reader complained about receiving invitations that included the request to “please RSVP.” The reader noted that RSVP (literally “respond, if you please” in French) already includes the word “please” and is therefore redundant. Would it be permissible for her to give a quick French lesson to the friends who issue the invitations?

Miss Manners thought not. But she did issue a request for readers to use the English language, not French, when issuing an invitation: “Please respond” or “The favor of a response is requested” would be better than the French RSVP.

Whoa. If we were to banish every French word from English, we would lose thousands of useful words. And I’m not just talking about obvious imports like “champagne,” “souffle,” and “saute.” We’d have to get rid of every -tion word (“election,” for example). And there are countless others that came from directly from French to English.

It’s true that Miss Manners’ suggested response doesn’t employ any French words. But “Please respond” is a Latin derivative, and so is the word “requested.” If we wanted to get rid of every Latin word, we’d really be in a pickle. (That sentence I just wrote is almost 100% English, but the rest of this post is replete with imported words. I don’t think I could write without them.)

Miss Manners’ campaign for English rather than French reminds me of the people who want us to install only native plants in our landscape. (My husband, a garden writer, runs into this kind of thinking all the time.) Crape myrtles, my favorite shrubs, aren’t native. They come from Japan. But they’re perfectly suited for Central Florida, where we live. In addition to the gorgeous blossoms, crape myrtles display attractive bark. They are pest resistant, drought resistant, and disease resistant. And they’re not invasive. Who cares about their ancestry?

Back to the French vs. English argument. (“Versus” is a Latin word, incidentally.) English usage is not based on historical principles, and logic isn’t useful either. The sole criterion is whether your target audience is comfortable with the word or expression in question.

Based on that reasoning, RSVP is in. Now, you could argue that “The favor of a response is requested” is more elegant. I’m with you. Or you could say that “Please respond” is more friendly than those four letters from the alphabet. I’m still with you.

But skip the specious reasoning, s’il vous plaît. Merci! (Maybe I should restate that: Skip the specious reasoning, please. Thanks!)

RSVP Dollar ok

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Coprolaliac?

This week my husband and I took Amtrak to Jupiter, Florida, where we spent two days fishing (and releasing our catch) with a guide. I had bought a Sony Pocket Reader expressly for trips like this one. It’s a lightweight electronic reading device, similar to a Kindle, that can hold plenty of books, saving space and weight in my suitcase.

Turns out I should have saved some of that space for an unabridged dictionary. One of the books I loaded onto my Pocket Reader was an anthology of writings by Oliver Sacks, a neurologist whose articles and books I’ve always enjoyed. In a reminiscence about a patient who’d had sleeping sickness, I came across these three words: oculogyria, palilalic, and coprolalic.

I copied them so that I could look them up at www.Dictionary.com when I returned. “Oculogyria,” it turns out, means “The limits of rotation of the eyeballs.” (There’s a handy word!) “Palilalic” wasn’t listed at all (a Google search shows that it refers to a speech defect in which words are unnecessarily repeated). The last word on my list, “coprolalic,” was misspelled: Dictionary.com listed it as “coprolaliac” and gave the meaning as “scatalogical” (an adjective referring to bathroom humor).

Bad writing. I get the feeling that Sacks, a medical doctor, was showing off, or too lazy to try to make himself clear – or simply didn’t care whether his readers understood him or not. Even worse, his editor didn’t bother to challenge him about those three words.

I came across a similar problem in an article I edited about six months ago: The author had used the word “paremiological,” which again isn’t listed at Dictionary.com. A Google search finally unearthed the meaning. (It’s an adjective referring to proverbs.)

There’s a simple principle that all writers should follow: Make yourself clear.

Which isn’t the same as making yourself sound simpleminded and boring – a false choice that many writers talk themselves into.

In fact I think you could argue that clarity and sophistication should always go together in professional writing. The trick is making yourself understood without regressing into choppy little sentences and oversimplified word choices.

You could go a step further and say that there’s a huge philosophical issue here. Very few ideas are new. How do you make them interesting and fresh?

If this question interests you (and it should), you’re in good company – and I’m not just talking about writers.  Suzanne Farrell, the great ballerina from the New York City Ballet, said that her greatest challenge was to make the steps interesting. I’m a dancer myself (ballroom, not ballet), and I know what Farrell was talking about.

But our subject is writing. So how do you make sentences interesting when you’re using a language that’s over a thousand years old? Here are some suggestions:

1.  Go ahead and use unfamiliar words, but be careful to define them in the context. Oliver Sacks could have said, “She improvised a variety of coprolaliac limericks that astonished me. Where had this prim woman acquired a gift for bathroom humor?”

2.  Use a semicolon now and then. It makes you look brilliant, but it’s no harder to understand than a sentence ending with a period (which is pretty much what a semicolon sentence is). I love semicolons; they add elegance to my writing.

3.  Use embedded clauses, as I’m doing here, to combine two ideas. Embedded clauses, when used effectively, work much better than sentences strung together with “and.”

4.  Put yourself on a reading program. It’s a great way to absorb sentence patterns; you’ll soon notice the difference in your writing. Thanks to Bartleby.com, which is just a few clicks away, we have instant access to countless great writers.

5.  Most important, don’t be fooled into thinking that big words are going to impress readers. It’s foolish to write gloriously coprolaliac limericks – or anything else – if nobody understands what you’re trying to say.

Oliver Sacks Wikipedia 2

Oliver Sacks

 

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Honoring Harper Lee

 The latest issue of Smithsonian magazine (June 2010) has an article commemorating the 50th anniversary of the publication of To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee.

The article, “Harper Lee’s Novel Achievement,” by Charles Leerhsen, does not offer an interview with the novelist, who has steadfastly refused to talk to the media for decades. Instead it explores the book’s setting and impact, along with several fascinating detours, including a discussion of Lee’s friendship with Truman Capote.

I enjoyed the article while wishing that an editor had done some work with a blue pencil.

But let’s start with the good stuff. Here’s the first sentence (wonderfully written, in my opinion):

To spend an hour in Monroeville, Alabama, is to know why Harper Lee, the author of To Kill a Mockingbird, ranks as one of the crankiest writers on the planet.

I love the word “crankiest,” and I especially love what Leerhsen has done with it. He put “crankiest” near the end of the sentence – the climax position – for maximum impact. This sentence is the perfect beginning for the article. It surprises you and makes you want to read more.

Thousands of schoolchildren are going to be writing papers about To Kill a Mockingbird this year, and every one of them is going to begin with this dreary sentence: “Harper Lee was born in 1926.” (A note to English teachers everywhere: Teach Leerhsen’s opening sentence as a model.)

But here’s another (not nearly as good) sentence:

The 1962 movie version, starring Gregory Peck, won three Oscars, yet somehow that earnest black-and-white film never trumped the three-dimensional chiaroscuro Mockingbird that shimmers in peoples’ imaginations after they experience Lee’s work on the printed page.

Two problems. First, peoples’ is wrong. Apparently Leerhsen (and the editors of Smithsonian Magazine) are members of the misinformed group who use the “before the s if it’s singular, after the s if it’s plural” rule for placing apostrophes. Folks, there’s no such rule. If there were, you’d be writing Jean Reynold’s PT Cruiser, and my name would turn into Reynold.

Here’s the rule: Spell the word. Put an apostrophe at the end. Add an s if you need one.

There are no exceptions if you place apostrophes that way. Easy, isn’t it?  The last letter in people is e. Place an apostrophe there, and add an s: people’s.

Let’s try Jean Reynolds PT Cruiser. Spell my name: Reynolds. Add an apostrophe after the last letter (s). Don’t bother adding an s – it’s there already. Jean Reynolds’ PT Cruiser.

Enough about that. Let’s go on to what really bothered me about that sentence.

First, it’s too long (36 words). Second, there’s too much crammed into it: the date of the movie, the star, the awards, B&W, followed by an analysis of people’s (hah!) reactions to the novel (complicated by that show-offy “three-dimensional chiaroscuro”).

I defy anyone to read and understand that sentence in just one take. The basic idea (“The 1962 movie version won three Oscars”) gets lost because “won three Oscars” has a comma in front and in back.

Here’s a handy guideline if you want to write excellent sentences (and who doesn’t?): Keep subjects and verbs together.

Here’s my version of Leerhsen’s big-mouthful-of-a-sentence:

In 1962 the novel was released as an earnest black-and-white movie. Although it won three Oscars, somehow the film never trumped the three-dimensional chiaroscuro Mockingbird that shimmers in people’s imaginations after they experience Lee’s work on the printed page.

It’s all there – even “chiaroscuro” (an Italian word referring to an artist’s use of light and dark contrasts).

And yes, I fixed the apostrophe.

Harper Lee

         Harper Lee

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Snuck or Sneaked?

Which is correct – snuck or sneaked? That choice – once firmly settled in favor of sneaked – is once again up for grabs.

I just finished reading a fascinating book about polygamy: Stolen Innocence by Elissa Wall (ghost-written by Lisa Pulitzer). Wall was married, against her will, at the age of fourteen at the command of Warren Jeffs, self-proclaimed “prophet” of the polygamous FLDS sect (now serving multiple sentences for forcing underage marriages and other crimes).

The book is an intimate, behind-the-scenes look at life in a polygamous community. It veers back-and-forth between normalcy (school, friends, family celebrations) and shock (the types of control inflicted on members of the sect). I thought that Lisa Pulitzer did an excellent job of turning Elissa Wall’s  harrowing story into a book.

But then there’s snuck, which showed up in the book multiple times. Language experts call it “an informal variant” of sneaked (which is preferred in formal writing). You could argue that an uneducated girl like Elissa Wall would naturally use snuck (the sect did not permit her to finish high school). Valid argument. But all the other writing is formal, right down to lots of semicolons and conjunctive adverbs. All those snucks seemed jarring and out of place.

When to use snuck? It’s one of those unsolvable problems (like why the Mona Lisa is smiling).  I view it as a jokey, informal word, a step or two above ain’t (a word I use myself when I’m kidding around). Garrison Keillor uses snuck in his Lake Woebegone stories.

But in a serious book like Elissa Wall’s I would have used sneaked (unless I was writing dialogue, where snuck would help make the conversation sound natural and real. Hard to do, by the way).

In 50 years snuck will probably have become an accepted alternative to sneaked. Right now, though, we’re in transition time. I would (and will) stick to sneaked.

It’s common to view this kind of evolution as an example of the deterioration of our language. Nonsense. It’s a natural process, and we’re not losing anything. In the meantime, however, we need to be careful.

Good writers are very sensitive to these time-will-tell issues. If you’re too slow to adopt a change, you sound stodgy and old-fashioned. If you’re slightly ahead of the pack, you risk sounding careless. And so we tap-dance through the dictionary, hoping we’re making the right choices. It’s part of the fascination of language.

Stolen Innocence

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Parallelism in Sentences

Very few writers use parallelism correctly. Here’s an example from a Dear Abby Letter published today. This sentence isn’t parallel and needs to be fixed:

He is intelligent, financially stable, and loves me and my son.  NOT PARALLEL

Writing the sentence as if it were a poem can help you see where the problem lies:

He is

intelligent

financially stable

loves me and my son

“He is” doesn’t match “loves me and my son.”

A better sentence would have been:

He is

intelligent

financially stable

loving to me and my son

(He is intelligent, financially stable, and loving to me and my son.)

Or the sentence could have been written this way:

He is intelligent and financially stable, and he loves me and my sonCORRECT

The problems always arise with the third item in the list. Make sure it matches the other two – or make it a new sentence.

Here’s another non-parallel sentence. Can you see how to fix it? I’ll add a correction at the end.

We need to mop the floors, wash the windows, and the bathroom needs scrubbing.

We need to

mop the floors

wash the windows

the bathroom needs scrubbing

Correct version: We need to mop the floors, wash the windows, and scrub the bathroom.

OR: We need to mop the floors and wash the windows, and the bathroom needs scrubbing.  CORRECT

Parallelism is impressive, important, and easy to learn.

"Dear Abby" - Pauline Phillips

“Dear Abby” – Pauline Phillips

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