Instant Quiz

Can you improve the sentence below? Scroll to the bottom of today’s post for the answer.    

Elaine and her mother looked forward to her college graduation.

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1. Be careful with the word being. It’s a useful word — but it can gum up a sentence. “Because” is a much better choice than “being that,” for example.
2. You can start sentences with and, but, and because. There’s never been a rule against it. Abraham Lincoln did it in the Gettysburg Address. Shakespeare did it.
   Every English-language book in your bookcase has sentences starting with but, and, and because.
3. Don’t be afraid of the singular they; “If someone needs a ticket, they can get one at the office.” The singular they dates back to 1375. Chaucer, Caxton, and Shakespeare used it; so did Jane Austen (75 times in Pride and Prejudice).
   We all use the singular they all the time. (If you’re nervous about it, read this from NPR: https://n.pr/1PXdiGW)
4. Professional writers often end their paragraphs with a climax (“That was my favorite birthday gift”) or a closure sentence that repeats the point of the paragraph. (“I still think about that gift.”)
   Don’t overdo it, but it’s a great way to add polish to your writing.
5. Never use “last but not least.” The pros use a climax phrase (such as best of all, most important, most seriously) to introduce their final supporting idea.
6. Don’t use quotation marks for emphasis (He was my “favorite” teacher). The pros don’t do it, and you shouldn’t either.
7. Don’t underline, ever. Add emphasis with italics or bold formatting.
8. Always choose the simplest word. Nobody is impressed if you say, “The fluid supply in my writing implement is exhausted” when what you mean is “My pen is out of ink.”
   Impress people with your critical thinking and your knowledge, not fancy words.
9. Delete words that don’t add anything useful to a sentence. “Their respective specialties” means exactly the same thing as “their specialties.”
   You wouldn’t put up with a lazy employee, and you shouldn’t tolerate lazy words.
10. Don’t waste your time learning formal grammar. You learned most of the grammar you’ll ever need before you entered first grade. (Doubt me? If you didn’t know grammar, how could you have read this post?)

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Because there are two women, “she” is confusing. You need to rewrite the sentence to clarify who is graduating.

Elaine and her mother looked forward to Elaine’s college graduation.