A headline on the front page of yesterday’s newspaper caught my eye. (“Polk” refers to the county where we live.)

Duke Energy Making Polk Lines More Avian Friendly

Why “avian friendly”? What’s wrong with “bird friendly”?

Here’s the likely explanation: Somebody on the newspaper staff had an English teacher who liked fancy words. The truth, though, is that pompous words don’t impress anyone. If you want to be a good writer, don’t try to cram as many big words as possible into your sentences. Your first goal should be to have something interesting to say.

A couple of hours after I read about the avian friendly electrical lines, I happened to visit the newspaper’s website. I found this improved version of the headline there:

Duke Energy Moves to Keep Birds on Wires Fireproof

It’s still clumsy, but at least it’s talking about birds.

Here’s how I would have written that headline: 

Duke Energy Making Polk Electric Lines Safer for Birds

This is a good opportunity to remind you about a neurological principle that’s solid gold can for writers: There’s an ongoing movie track inside our heads. Good writers exploit this principle by providing a steady steam of pictures for their readers. 

Let me give you two examples of what I’m talking about. Take a look at this sentence:

John and Mary planted annuals near the front door.

It’s a fine sentence. But if you change “the” to “their,” it becomes a better sentence because your brain sees John and Mary twice, rather than once:

John and Mary planted annuals near their front door.

I use this “create a picture” principle all the time. Let’s take another look at the first sentence in my post for today:

A headline on the front page of yesterday’s newspaper caught my eye. 

My sentence includes four items that you can see: headline, front page, newspaper, eye. Good writers are always looking for words with eye appeal. Is that something you strive to do? If not, it’s a good habit for you to start developing right away.