Because my grandmother was Finnish, and my aunts spoke the Finnish language, and I have a close friend who’s Finnish, I always feel that Finland doesn’t get the attention it deserves. So I was very pleased to find an article about Finland’s excellent school system in the latest issue of Smithsonian Magazine…

…which is where I came across this mouthful of a sentence (you need to know that “Louhivuori” is the last name of a Finnish teacher pictured in the article):

The school where Louhivuori teaches served 240 first through ninth graders last year; and in contrast with Finland’s reputation for ethnic homogeneity, more than half of its 150 elementary-level students are immigrants—from Somalia, Iraq, Russia, Bangladesh, Estonia and Ethiopia, among other nations.

Helsinki, we have a problem. The sentence refers to “Finland’s reputation for ethnic homogeneity….” What does that mean? “Reputation” is an ambiguous word. It could mean that Finland really is ethnically homogeneous – or, by contrast, that Finland has wrongly been characterized that way.

A little tinkering with the sentence would have made things clear: “Finland’s well-deserved reputation…” or “Finland’s longstanding reputation…”

I checked Wikipedia and discovered that Finland indeed is one of the most ethnically homogeneous nations in Europe–but the times, they are a-changin’.

Ethnicity issues aside, that’s an awfully long sentence, containing six or seven ideas:

• Louhivuori teaches in a school with 240 students
• The elementary level has 150 students
• Grades one through nine are taught there
• Finland has a longstanding reputation for ethnic homogeneity
• Half the elementary-level students are immigrants
• They come from Somalia, Iraq, Russia, Bangladesh, Estonia, Ethiopia, and other nations

I’d say that information warrants at least two sentences–wouldn’t you agree?

Clarity is high on the list of essential qualities of good writing – and deservedly so. Usage errors, poor organization, and other sins can be forgiven. But if we miss what the author is trying to say, the whole purpose of reading and writing is lost.

A good remedy is to ask a friend to read over what you’ve written before you submit it for publication. If you can find someone who’s really sharp, like my husband (who read the Finland article before I did and spotted the offending sentence), you’re really in luck.