Tag Archives: editing

Google Docs

When I was writing my doctoral dissertation in the mid 1980s, I did much of the writing on a laptop that I hauled to various coffee shops, libraries, and hotel rooms – any place where I could find a quiet corner to work. Before I left home, I always downloaded the latest version onto  a backup disk. Or I thought I did. More than once I sat down to work at some location away from home, only to discover that I’d packed the wrong disk.

Grrrr.

If Google Docs had been available back then, the writing process would have gone much more smoothly for me. Google Docs is a free website that lets writers safely store a project online and access it at any location that has an Internet connection.

But wait – there’s more! Google Docs also has its own word-processing system, so that you can create a new document online.

Google Docs also allows collaboration – highly useful for anyone who does consulting work. You can even open up a window inside a document to chat with a collaborator in real time. (I can remember, years ago at a CCCC conference, hearing Lisa Ede say that she and Andrea Lunsford dreamed of having that functionality available to them. It’s here!)

My only gripe with Google Docs is that it’s not intuitive – not for me, anyway. I would like to have the most useful functions clearly visible on a toolbar. For example, I use Google Docs primarily as a backup for ongoing projects. It annoys me that the upload function is hidden inside a folder. But then maybe what’s important to me isn’t a priority for other users.

At any rate, help is on the way. You can find a free tutorial at this link: http://www.whoishostingthis.com/blog/2017/08/14/google-docs/

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Weak vs. Strong Sentences

A recent copyblogger post raised an excellent question: How do you determine whether you’ve written a strong sentence – or a weak one?

My answer is that I have to hear the sentence in my head. Here are three sentences I’ve written myself (sigh) that I’d like to nominate for today’s “weak sentence” award:

Keeping the library open on Sunday afternoons is something Dean Wilson and I agree on.

Taking a cruise was an option that didn’t appeal to me at first, but in the end I enjoyed it.

A widespread custom in many countries all over the world is for communities to plan festivals to celebrate the fall harvest.

Several features of these sentences bother me. (By the way, I’d be interested to know if you’re bothered by these sentences too – or is it just a quirk of mine?) I don’t like “is something” in the first sentence and “was an option that” in the second. More problematic – to my ears, anyway – is the way the first two sentences seem to sputter as they come to a stop.

The third sentence presents a different problem: it seems static. Instead of reading what a widespread custom is, I’d prefer to read what those communities are doing.

Here are my suggested revisions:

Dean Wilson and I agree: the library should be open on Sunday afternoons.

The cruise – which sounded like a bad idea at first – turned out to be a memorable vacation.

Many communities all over the world plan festivals to celebrate the fall harvest.

Problem solved, right? Not so fast! If it’s hard to write strong sentences, it’s even harder to explain how to do it. So I was delighted when I came across that copyblogger post: “3 Advanced Ways to Craft Better Sentences.”

Alas, the advice turned out not to be advanced at all. Use active voice. Don’t overuse a word. Don’t belabor a point. Examine your writing with a critical eye. (Anyone who already knows how to carry out that last suggestion doesn’t need to read articles about writing!)

Even worse, some of the writing – despite the promise in the headline – was weak. For example, author Stefanie Flaxman urges writers to use Google to double-check words and expressions that aren’t “straightforward.” How – I ask you – do you know when something you’ve written isn’t “straightforward,” and how can Google help? She doesn’t provide any examples – not one.

All she says is that she checks “anything that makes me question whether or not it is correct.” What is “it,” and what is the warning sign that makes you question whether it is correct? I think she’s trying to say that she looks up confusing words like compose/comprise and affect/effect. Good for her! But we’re still not an inch closer to figuring out how to write a powerful sentence.

Here are three strategies I use myself to write stronger sentences:

  • Watch for that sputter I mentioned earlier. One trick is to end sentences with a noun rather than a weak word like it.
  • The words thing, something, and – oddly – being often weaken sentences. I use all three words, but I always spend some time first to see if should replace them.
  • Weak sentences often point to a deeper problem: I have nothing important, interesting, or fresh to tell my readers. It may be time to hit the delete key and start over.

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I Never Stop Editing

It seems I never stop editing. Two sentences in a recent New Yorker article (“Personal Best” by Atul Gawande, October 3 2011) made me stop and think. (Incidentally, the New Yorker is a well-edited magazine – I have gripes only a few times a year.)

These sentences interest me because they’re both correct (the first is an example of a grammatical point few writers seem to understand) – but I still think rewriting is necessary.

Here’s the first sentence:

Perlman, disabled by polio, couldn’t play the violin standing, and DeLay was one of the few who were convinced that he could have a concert career.

Two things here fired off my mental editing machine. Gawande’s choice of were (one of the who were) deserves a round of applause. Most writers would have used was (“Delay was one of the few who was convinced”). My thinking: few…were. If you wanted to use was, you’d have to revise the sentence like this:

Perlman, disabled by polio, couldn’t play the violin standing, and DeLay was one instructor convinced that he could have a concert career.

But there’s something there that bothers me: Using “he” in a sentence about two males, Perlman and DeLay. I’ll admit that few readers would be confused. Obviously Perlman is the person whose concert career is in doubt. Still, I can imagine a reader’s brain halting for a few milliseconds to make sure it really was Perlman.

OK, let’s get even pickier. “And” is a weak way to join two sentences.

So I might have revised the sentence like this:

Most instructors believed that Perlman could never have a concert career because his polio forced him to play the violin sitting down. DeLay was one of the few who thought otherwise.

You probably noticed that I made two sentences out of the original – often a cure for awkward or ambiguous sentences.

Here’s the second sentence that stumped me:

Knowledge of disease and the science of treatment are always evolving.

My problem is “knowledge.” Did Gawande mean only knowledge of disease, which seems to be the case, or knowledge of both disease and the science of treatment? If so, the verb should have been is. (Click here and see Rule 4.)

Now you could argue that Gawande’s choice of are indicates that he meant knowledge of disease to be a separate thing from the science of treatment. But why set all the English teachers out there a-wonderin’? There’s a simple solution: Insert “the” at the beginning of the sentence.

The knowledge of disease and the science of treatment are always evolving.

 

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Clarity, Anyone?

I hate the word “different.”

A sentence in the August 31 Wall Street Journal demonstrates why. The article, “Age-Proofing Your Job Application,” includes this sentence:

A Gmail account gives off a markedly different impression than an AOL or Hotmail account, for example, as does a user name that includes your name or initials and includes only a couple of numbers at the end, if any at all.

So…if I were an older job applicant, which email account should I have? The article doesn’t explain, nor does it enlighten me about whether a user name with a “name or initials” and “a couple of numbers at the end” is good or bad.

All I know is that email addresses are…different.

Gee, I think I knew that already.

 Journalists, take note: Clarity should be high on the list of qualities you strive for in your writing.

 

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Jibe or Gibe?

Turns out I don’t know which word to use: jibe or gibe.

I made this discovery when I took a Washington Post editing quiz based on the latest edition of the AP Stylebook. Click here if you’d like to try the quiz yourself (it’s short) – and you should. Anyone who’s serious about writing should have a sense of the things that editors do and the issues they have to deal with (like the difference between jibe and gibe – sigh).

Note that I’m not saying you should memorize the AP Stylebook, or even that you have to follow it. The AP (for Associated Press) Stylebook tells journalists how to handle various usage questions, and often the decisions are arbitrary: Is it Queen or queen? Pope or pope? Synch or sync? (Answers: queen and pope, unless a name follows, such as Queen Victoria; sync, without the h.)

Many organizations and institutions have their own stylebooks. At the college where I used to teach, the stylebook (which I helped write) decreed that President should be capitalized. We didn’t care that the AP Stylebook didn’t do it that way: We thought our President (an amazing woman, by the way) deserved a capital letter.

If you enjoy tangling with issues like these, perhaps you should think about a career in publishing or editing. And if your future does seem to lie in that direction, it would be a good idea to get your hands on the AP Stylebook to learn more about what editors do.

 

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That Annoying Hyphen is Gone!

A celebration is in order: The Associated Press Stylebook has officially banished that annoying hyphen from the word e-mail: It’s now email. And the good news isn’t over: website is now one word with no capital letter. Bring out the champagne!

You can read a Washington Post  story about how and why the decision was made by clicking here – and you should. Everyone who’s serious about writing should know how these decisions are made.

You should know, for example, that the Associated Press Stylebook is a usage reference book widely used by journalists, so this decision will have far-reaching effects and will probably spread beyond newspapers and magazines.

This is probably a good opportunity to review a few basic facts about hyphens.

Hyphens tend to disappear over time, so often you’re going to have to make a judgment call about including or excluding them. (I stopped using that hyphen in email years ago.)

  • Use a hyphen when a) two describing words go together and b) a noun immediately follows.

The lawn-mower shop will be closed next week.  (Shop is a noun: Use a hyphen)

I need to get my lawn mower serviced.  (No hyphen)

  • Don’t use a hyphen with –ly words.

That’s a poorly written story.  (No hyphen)

To learn more about hyphens, click here.

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Check the Beginning of a Sentence

Hints of possible sentence problems often show up at the beginning of a sentence. Here are four tips you’ll use again and again:

1.  Anything that begins with a person, place, or thing is probably a real sentence and should end with a period.

My trip to Hawaii did not begin well.  SENTENCE

If what you’ve written doesn’t begin with a person, place, or thing, it’s probably an extra idea. That’s ok – but remember that it can’t stand alone. It should a) end with a comma and b) be attached to a real sentence.

Although my trip to Hawaii did not begin well,  EXTRA IDEA

Although my trip to Hawaii did not begin well, I had a wonderful time there.  SENTENCE

(Click here to read about Comma Rule 1.)

2.  Remember that it is a thing. Here’s a handy rule of thumb: If it starts with it, it’s a sentence. (This tip can save you from many run-on sentences.)

I pushed on the door, it wouldn’t open.  INCORRECT

I pushed on the door. It wouldn’t open. CORRECT

3.  The beginning of a sentence usually tells you who or what the sentence is about. Use that information to solve problems with subject-verb agreement.

Changes in top management (has, have) caused cancellations and delays.

Focus on the word changes, and you’ll know immediately that the verb should be has. [Use…has]

Changes in top management have caused cancellations and delays.  CORRECT

(Click here to read about Subject-Verb Agreement Rule 4.)

4.  Be especially careful about starting sentences with -ing words. Of course it’s correct to start a sentence with a word ending in –ing: Just remember that you risk writing a sentence fragment or a dangling modifier.

Loving her the way he does.  FRAGMENT

Loving her the way he does, he can’t bear to see her in so much pain. 
CORRECT

Loving her the way he does, the cost of the ring didn’t matter.  DANGLING MODIFIER

Loving her the way he does, he didn’t worry for an instant about cost of the ring. CORRECT

If you’re interested in improving your writing, one practice that will pay off again and again is to check the beginning of each sentence. A highlighter makes it easy. Try it!

320px-Two_highlighters,_closeup

Photo © Justin Smith / Wikimedia Commons, CC-By-SA-3.0

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Shorter is Better

Here’s a caption that appeared under a photo in today’s local newspaper:

Naomi Poe, founder of Better Batter Gluten Free Flour in Altoona, Pa., learned that it is important to try to understand how your customers value your product, and to raise prices, she had to convince customers her products offered added value.

I just checked the New York Times, the original source of the story and photo. Their caption was shorter and more readable. Apparently the journalist who writes headlines for our paper forgot a useful writing rule: One idea per sentence.

Let’s take another look at that mouthful of a sentence – or, more precisely, at part of it:

Naomi Poe, founder of Better Batter Gluten Free Flour in Altoona, Pa., learned that it is important to try to understand how your customers value your product, and to raise prices,

That phrase “and to raise prices” doesn’t make sense until you read further – “she had to convince customers her products offered added value.” But by then most readers will be as lost as I was.

Solution? It’s simple. Break the sentence in two:

Naomi Poe, founder of Better Batter Gluten Free Flour in Altoona, Pa., learned that it is important to try to understand how your customers value your product. And to raise prices, she had to convince customers her products offered added value.  BETTER

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Blond or Blonde?

No, this isn’t going to be about the Bob Dylan recording (fans out there know that Blonde on Blonde is widely considered one of the greatest albums of all time).

But let’s talk about the title for a moment. If you look it up on Wikipedia, it’s spelled Blond on Blonde (unless someone has corrected it by now). So what about that final e? Does it mean anything? Does it make a difference?

Blond or blonde?

Go to www.Dictionary.com, and you’ll discover that the adjective is correctly spelled without the e: Although my hair was blond when I was little, it’s light brown now.

But if you’re referring to a woman with blond hair, you’re supposed to add the e:

Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? A: So brunettes can remember them.

(I couldn’t resist. Incidentally, I’m a blonde.)

The blonde/blond distinction is a subtle one, and Dictionary.com notes that even some good writers ignore it.

Here’s a thought, however: Once in a while you’re going to encounter a language fanatic (like me) who knows the difference and looks for that final e. Why not take the opportunity to impress me?

 

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Why We Need Commas

I’m on a Lawrence Block reading kick – I love his mystery novels about Matthew Scudder, a New York detective who spends much of his free time at AA meetings.

The books are well written and fun to read, but once in a while Block and his copyeditor miss a comma or two. I want to spend a few minutes looking at problem sentence from the mystery I’m reading right now, The Devil Knows You’re Dead.

(Background:  Lisa Holtzmann, the widow of a man who was just murdered, is reminiscing about their relationship.)

Read along with me, and try to watch your brain at work. (I know that sounds crazy – but try it!)

When we met Glenn

You’re picturing a couple of people meeting Glenn, right? Wrong! Read on:

When we met Glenn had a studio apartment in Yorkville

Oops! She’s saying something different: When she and Glenn met, he had an apartment in Yorkville.

Let’s keep reading:

When we met Glenn had a studio apartment in Yorkville and

So Glenn had a studio apartment and something else, right?

Oops! Wrong again. Read on:

When we met Glenn had a studio apartment in Yorkville and of course I was still on Madison Street.

Two commas, correctly placed, would clear up all the confusion, and you’d know immediately what Lisa was trying to say.

Here’s the sentence one more time, correctly punctuated. Notice how much easier it is to read:

When we met, Glenn had a studio apartment in Yorkville, and of course I was still on Madison Street. CORRECT

To learn more about Comma Rule 1 (the first comma) and Comma Rule 2 (the second comma), click here. You can also watch a short video by clicking here.

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