Tag Archives: creative writing

Effective Exposition

I was caught off guard at the last meeting of the writers’ group that gets together regularly in a conference room in our public library. We were talking about an excerpt from a mystery novel called Murder in Silk that member Carol Corley had submitted.

Karen White had been struck by a sentence in Carol’s novel: “It was only a little after 6 pm., but it was already dark.” It was something I hadn’t noticed until Karen pointed it out: You know not only the time of day, but the time of year. In the warmer months, it gets dark much later.

That’s good exposition – a writing issue that befuddles even bestselling authors. For a novel to make sense, readers need to know what’s going on – the basic Who, What, When, Where, and Why of a story. But if you focus all your attention on the 5 W’s, as they’re called, your story never gets moving. Here’s an example of what not to do:

Joe and Jane are both high-school sophomores. They’ve been dating secretly because Jane’s parents are old-fashioned and strict, and they think she’s too young to date. Lately there’s been a complication because Joe is starting to get interested in Becky, a transfer student who’s enrolled in his biology class.

The problem with this paragraph is that it’s all background – we still haven’t seen Joe and Jane moving forward with their story.

Good writers (like Carol) know how to let readers in on what’s going on without pausing the story. And so, instead of an additional sentence telling us “It was a December evening,” Carol wrote that it was “already dark” at 6 pm. And there’s more: That already underlines the feeling that things are moving quickly – exactly the feeling you want in a mystery novel.

How do you learn how to do exposition? You can read a book about fiction writing, sign up for a workshop or class, or look for resources online. Many writers (including me) think the best approach is to study how effective writers do it. Pull your favorite novels off the shelf, turn to the first page, and see how the authors pulled it off. In fact that’s great advice for any writer. Daniel James Brand, author of the bestselling Boys in the Boat, says he learned tons by studying Lauren Hillenbrand’s Seabiscuit. (Here’s a link to a post about Boys in the Boat and Seabiscuit.)

If all of this sounds a little overwhelming, take a deep breath and read on. The big point I want to make is that writing doesn’t just happen: The best authors plan, work, and rework their material. If you’re a masterful writer, much of that labor is done unconsciously. To get to that stage, though, you have to spend many hours wrestling with your material. The good news is that it’s often fun and exhilarating.

So – don’t be put off by that big, abstract word “exposition.” Start writing and see where the words take you. Most important, keep thinking about your readers. Who are they? How are they reacting? What can you do to keep your story moving? You’re on your way – and so is your story.Mystery Wikipedia 2

Share

Jane Austen Shows Us How It’s Done

Lately I’ve been noticing a recurring problem in the story manuscripts I’ve been reading: The authors are so busy moving the story forward that they forget to show how other characters are reacting to what’s going on.

For example, I just read a story about an ex-con who’s back in society and working full-time. He talks to a co-worker very sincerely about the ways that he’s matured over the years. When he finishes, she dismisses him with a cynical comment.

The story would make more sense if we had a couple of glimpses of the co-worker while the ex-con is talking. The writer could describe her facial expressions to let us know that she’s not buying what he’s saying. Then the rejection at the end would make more sense.

Here are three reasons why you should strive to include reactions when you write a story:

  • You’re helping readers keep track of your characters
  • You can use the reactions to develop characters
  • The story will make more sense

To show how this works, I’ve copied some dialogue from Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. In the excerpt below, I’ve omitted the reactions from the other characters. Then I’ve copied the dialogue again, this time with the reactions included (they’re in blue so that you can identify them). Notice how much better the incident reads the second time.

Here’s the situation: The younger Bennett girls have been getting to know some soldiers who have been posted to their neighborhood. The girls are full of giggles, to their father’s dismay.

They could talk of nothing but officers; and Mr. Bingley’s large fortune, the mention of which gave animation to their mother, was worthless in their eyes when opposed to the regimentals of an ensign.

After listening one morning to their effusions on this subject, Mr. Bennet coolly observed,—

‘From all that I can collect by your manner of talking, you must be two of the silliest girls in the country. I have suspected it some time, but I am now convinced.’

‘I am astonished, my dear,’ said Mrs. Bennet, ‘that you should be so ready to think your own children silly. If I wished to think slightingly of anybody’s children, it should not be of my own, however.’

‘If my children are silly, I must hope to be always sensible of it.’

‘Yes; but as it happens, they are all of them very clever.’

Here’s the dialogue again, with the girls’ reactions included:

They could talk of nothing but officers; and Mr. Bingley’s large fortune, the mention of which gave animation to their mother, was worthless in their eyes when opposed to the regimentals of an ensign.

After listening one morning to their effusions on this subject, Mr. Bennet coolly observed,—

‘From all that I can collect by your manner of talking, you must be two of the silliest girls in the country. I have suspected it some time, but I am now convinced.’

Catherine was disconcerted, and made no answer; but Lydia, with perfect indifference, continued to express her admiration of Captain Carter, and her hope of seeing him in the course of the day, as he was going the next morning to London.

‘I am astonished, my dear,’ said Mrs. Bennet, ‘that you should be so ready to think your own children silly. If I wished to think slightingly of anybody’s children, it should not be of my own, however.’

‘If my children are silly, I must hope to be always sensible of it.’

‘Yes; but as it happens, they are all of them very clever.’

Notice: You got to know the daughters (Lydia and Catherine) a little better, the dialogue flowed better, and – most important – you could see for yourself what Mr. Bennett was talking about. Jane Austen was on to something here – try it yourself in your next short story.

Share