Adverbs: Good Guys or Bad Guys?

We were talking about adverbs (words that usually end with -ly) at a recent Write Like a Pro meeting. I was telling the group to avoid the all-too-common practice of adding adverbs to dialogue, like this:

“Aunt Mary is coming today,” Gail said happily.

“But she’s staying only two days,” Don said sadly.

And then group member Jane Brumbaugh reminded us about “Tom Swifties” – punning sentences that combine humorous adverbs and verbs:

“That’s the last time I’ll stick my arm into a lion’s mouth,” the lion-tamer said off-handedly.

The name comes from the Tom Swift series of novels for boys dating back to 1910. They were published by the Stratemeyer syndicate that also published the Bobbsey Twins books I loved as a child. The Tom Swift books were famous for a stylistic tic that involved adding an adverb to almost every verb, like this:

“Oh, I’m not a professor,” he said quickly.

OK, let’s get serious (sort of). Adverbs are wonderful words…when they’re used sparingly. If you reread the “Gail” and “Don” sentences at the beginning of this post, you’ll see how flat and monotonous adverbs can be.

“Aunt Mary is coming today,” Gail said happily.

“But she’s staying only two days,” Don said sadly.

Here are my revisions (and I invite you to see if you can top them – have fun!).

Jane grinned. “Aunt Mary is coming today.”  BETTER

Don’s smile lasted only a few seconds. “But she’s staying only two days,” he added.  BETTER

Let’s try a love scene. Can you improve this sentence by replacing lovingly with better wording?

“I’ve been waiting for this moment a long time,” Paul said lovingly.

Here’s my version:

Paul squeezed her hand. “I’ve been waiting for this moment a long time.”  BETTER

Books about writing often warn against overusing adverbs in dialogue. Elmore Leonard’s book 10 Rules of Writing has a stern warning about adverbs: 

Rule 4.  Never use an adverb to modify the verb “said.”

Most of Leonard’s rules are more useful for fiction than for the kinds of writing I do/ But I really like Rule 4 (above) and this one:

Rule 3.  Never use a verb other than “said” to carry dialogue.

Here’s an example of what can happen when you break Rule 3:

“We just struck oil!” Tom gushed. .

Before I go – Jane Brumbaugh just emailed me this jewel:

 “I like my cheese shredded,” said Tom gratefully.

Who says learning about writing can’t be fun?

Tom Swift

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